Dear Diary,
You know how they say everything in life has 'hearing' abilities? That both animate and inanimate objects can pick up sound codes and vibrations which in turn influences their behaviors? that the phase 'the walls have ears' is quite literal as the very walls of one's dwellings can pick up sound codes and vibrations and in turn release these back to the inhabitants; this is why people are encouraged to speak positive words into their environment, and to surround themselves with people who release positive energy in order to shield themselves from the toxic buildup of negativity. Well if indeed, you really can hear dear diary, then I'm sure by now you must be sick and tired of hearing the song 'Would You be Happier' by The Corrs as I've had it playing on repeat for the past hour, even as I insist on singing tunelessly over it. Well you wouldn't entirely blame me for the racket given that in the past day, i've been greatly exposed to a broad spectrum of individual perspective of happiness; and after proper assessment, I've made a rather shocking discovery.
It began with the 'code red' put out by Temi yesterday morning. She had received a rather belated mail informing her of the arrival of Mrs. Udi to our liaison office; apparently, Mrs. Udi was to spend the entire week working out of our office. This implied moderately heavy logistics- including accommodation, feeding, entertainment, and mobility- all at the expense of our department; and Temi had only been informed on the morning of her arrival. Naturally, Temi was pissed;
not only was Mrs Udi an expatriate and a very senior staff (even more senior to Mr. Olivier), she was also a Queen (and when I say Queen, I actually mean a fastidious pain in the ass; but since I'm heavily downsizing on my curse words, Queen would have to do). I watched Temi storm around the office in a fit of rage and I knew that her anger wasn't entirely due to the limited preparation time she had been given. You see dear diary, Temi always boasted of being tightly keyed into both the official and unofficial flow of information in the organisation; 'being in the know' was her 'thing', just like being pretty. Yes, these were the two 'suns' Temi's world revolved around- information and beauty. they were haer source of happiness. Undermining anyone of them for her was like throwing a huge fire blanket over the sun; her world would be filled with a blinding darkness. I could only shake my head ans sympathize with her as she barked orders to drivers, use swear words on travel agents and hotel managers, and attempt to wring the neck of anyone who got in her way. She was furious, and not prepared to give anyone a bit of wriggle room. I knew someone would have to pay for this in some way before the day was ended; Temi could be vengeful on rare occasions.
I was at my desk concentrating on simulating personality test questions (a task Mr. Olivier had assigned to me more as a punishment than anything else; but that's gist for another day) when I suddenly began to feel slightly woozy; then i picked it up: the Cologne! Boy, that strong perfume that could put one to sleep; perfume so strong, it becomes an entity of its own! It walks into the building before the wearer, and stays behind a long while after the wearer had exited. Mrs. Udi was officially in the vicinity! My colleagues must have picked up the telltale sign of Mrs. Udi's presence too because my Lync app soon pinged with a new message. I opened it; it was a short message from Sam that read:
She's here! Quick everyone, run for your lives! Next to which was a photo of one of the characters from the minions in full flight. I laughed out loud as I hit the delete button; good old Sam, this was his 'thing'- being the funny one. He somehow derived immense joy from seeing people laugh. When there's peace and laughter, Sam was happiest; left to Sam, the whole universe would be one crazy comedy. I switched windows back to my simulation page and realized I was fed up! I wasn't in HR, have never been in HR, so it was just unfair that i was being made to do this simulation! To make matters worse, Jamal (the really cute Arabian in HR who happens to really like me, and who had promised to help with the simulation) had had to travel to Kuwait the previous night. 'Family business' was all the explanation he had offered- in a tight, pensive voice- when he had called to apologize at mid night. Now I was stuck on a deadline with little means to completing the task. If I hadn't been so sleepy last night, I may have been able to coax Jamal's password out of him, then i would have had access to HR's pool of questions. I was furious with myself! I had missed an opportunity because I couldn't shake some stupid sleep off, and now I had to pay! I must confess dear Diary, this is kind off my weakness; it really gets under my skin (to where it hurts) when I mess things up just because I was less than in control (especially of myself); I am happiest when i feel on top of my game (be it reality or just an illusion, lol). I was furious enough to consider hacking Jamal's profile from the back end just to gain access and feel less terrible about myself; this is why i screamed (I mean a full-fledged horror movie scream) when a hand suddenly dropped on my shoulder from behind me. I swiveled my chair around while I slapped both my palms over my mouth to keep my heart from leaping out (as it was already in my mouth apparently), only to find Uche staring at me with a bewildered look on his face. "Christ Ari! why do you scare so easily?" he asked "or were you doing something wrong? I've told you time and again to stop watching pornography in the office but you won't listen" he added, squinting his eyes and trying to lighten the mood. I laughed aloud (after swallowing my heart back to place of course), that was my line; Uche had stolen my line and even used it on me.
"Get out of here Uche" I said, feigning anger "some of us actually work hard to make profits for this company"
"Oh, I come bearing news; one you'd like" Uche replied with an air of mischief; Uche is happiest when he's up to some mischief. I raised an eyebrow in inquiry and he continued "She wants to see you" I groaned loudly and buried my head in my arms on my desk.
"There! I knew you'd like it!" Uche added mischievously and sauntered away. I needed no further explanation as to the 'She' who wanted to see me. Yous see dear diary, Mrs. Udi and I have a bit of a history together. First off, she's my Aunt (a close one to; married to my Dad's brother- Uncle Doug); secondly, she's my self appointed mentor and guardian (rolling my eyes at that one). Being a mother of seven full grown men, I am like the daughter she never had (at least to her). When I got employed by this company, the first condition I negotiated with HR was one to make sure I never had reason to work in the London office (which is Mrs. Udi's base), no matter how briefly. But since I wouldn't go to London, Mrs. Udi had found every opportunity to come to our liaison office; and each time she was here, she paid a little too much attention on me; this didn't please my colleagues very much. Mrs Udi's idea of happiness was teaching me something new; whether it's the fastest way to decode programmes, a perfect way to fold bath towels, a simple trick to tell if a guy is interested in you, or the best angles for a selfie. Don't get me wrong dear Diary, Mrs. Udi is my favorite aunt (she's my craziest aunt to; so that automatically qualifies her) but when it comes to work, and she's all over me like one big fuzzy bundle of love, and all my colleagues begin to get a shade greener with each passing minute, I just feel like I'm no longer in control; and that terrifies me.
Seeing no immediate means of escape for the present, I dragged myself up, and headed for Mrs. Udi's office. Dara had just exited Mrs.Udi's office as I approached and I watched her face harden when she saw me. You see dear Diary, Dara had fancied herself Mrs. Udi's pet before I joined the company (Dara had joined the company as Mrs. Udi's personal assistant before she got promoted to her current position); and though Mrs. Udi has never referred to Dara by any other endearment apart from 'that smart girl', Dara somehow believed we were in competition for Mrs. Udi's affections; this only made me want to put more distance between myself and Mrs. Udi at work. Dara's wrath was something i couldn't handle; I believe she's happiest when she has an enemy to vanquish (and that's the right word- vanquish; Dara could utterly destroy you without batting an eye lid if it pleases her). I smiled an apology to her as skipped into Mrs. Udi's office and shut the door behind me.
"You've been avoiding me, pumpkin" Mrs. Udi said in a clipped British accent without looking up from the documents she had been reviewing.
"That's not even possible Aunt D" I replied, mimicking her clipped accent and addressing her as only family does, because she was right; I'd been avoiding her, but I didn't want her to feel bad about it. She peered at me from the top of her spectacles, then smiled.
"Good!" she said "I won't ask for a hug now because this is clearly a working environment; but go grab your purse, we're going out for an early lunch at my club. Hurry along now". Yes, dear Diary, this was my Aunt D, always in command; next to her, I possess absolutely no control over anything- even my time! I turned and headed for the door to do as I'm told when her voice stopped me
"And oh Ari, your ass looks fat in that skirt; whatever happened to your Kappa Kappa dress sense?" I laughed out loud as I left her office. 'Kappa Kappa' was a private joke between Aunt D and myself. it was the name of the frat I never joined in school even though my parents still think I did join. It was the frat for the impeccable, my mum was an old member from her school days (a 'Legacy' as they called it in the frat), and they had a 'no boyfriend' rule. All three conditions didn't work for me, so I got an internship with a big fashion designer (my parents would have had a combined heart attack had they know; after they forbid me from taking it of course) and spent many blissful 'Kappa Kappa' meetings, auctions, and charity events at my internship.
My lunch with Aunt D didn't go as I had thought it would. I had expected to spend the hour getting a love overdose from her and of course, being taught something new; but within the first ten minutes, she broke the news to me: she was leaving the company because she was ill; she was moving to Alaska with Uncle Doug as the cold weather would aid both treatment and recovery (all of this she said with such dismissive indifference as though she was discussing the stock market). I wept into my steak (which I had ordered just to horrify Aunt D as pay back for her earlier comment about my butt) for the rest of lunch. Aunt D was a major pain in the ass and I always thought I needed space from her; but this wasn't how I wanted it; this was too terrifying! I was numb when I finally returned to the office; I just wanted to go home (not to my apartment in town; but to my family, my parents).
"Ari, get in here" that was Mr. Olivier's voice and I could clearly hear the anger in it. I remember I hadn't completed the simulation; but most importantly, I knew Mr. Olivier didn't like Mrs. Udi. I've heard him ascribe the tag 'forceful character' to her on more than one occasion (but I secretly know it's just the chauvinist in him talking; his all too fragile male ego has a difficult time comprehending how a 'lowly' female could attain such a high position at Mrs. Udi's age). I dragged my numb self to his office knowing that I was going to receive some serious tongue lashing; but boy, I wasn't prepared for the cold fury Mr. Olivier handed to me. You see dear diary, loyalty was Mr. Olivier's 'thing'; any act of disloyalty (real or imagined) unleashed the cave man in him. He yelled about hoe I has abandoned my job and disappeared without anyone knowing of my whereabouts if not for Dara who had seen me leaving (without anyone knowing? I had told Sam and Temi I was going out for an early lunch! What was Dara up to now?), how urgently he had needed that simulation (the simulation was just a punishment; we both knew it!), and how Dara had come up with a set of simulated questions just in the nick of time to save the day (Dara again! How did she even get the questions on such short notice? I guess Alan in HR is going to be a luck man soon).
"This is an appraisal issue Ari and I'm not letting you off the hook" Mr. Olivier's voice boomed. "If you want to abandon your duties half way to frolic around town with your aunt, then go worth with her in London but for as long as you remain in my unit, your are not permitted to do that! You can leave my office now". I stumbled out, stunned. I could barely believe what was happening! First, my Aunt D goes off and becomes ill without asking anyone's permission; now Mr. Olivier wants me to manage his ego when my aunt could be dying!
For the rest of the day, I found myself wondering why humans in general have decided to attach terms and conditions to personal happiness. Why have we decided to make happiness so elusive; just one step ahead of us? In the next job, in that new house, on the next vacation, in the victory over an enemy, in the next degree or certification we attain, and so on. Could we have been happy if it wasn't for that nosy neighbor, or that annoying colleague, or the traffic, or the weather? These are all excuses we give to ourselves to cover for the fact that we are just too lazy to take charge of our personal happiness. We all have our personal monsters; monsters we fight daily as they, in turn, fight back and try to consume us; but while we fight to subdue them or to keep the subdues, we must ensure we do not let the paranoia make us be come the very thing we fear: a monster...
(Disclaimer: Aria's Note is largely fiction; as such, names, characters, businesses, organisations, associations, places, events, ans incidents are product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, events, locales, associations, or organisations is largely coincidental.)
You know how they say everything in life has 'hearing' abilities? That both animate and inanimate objects can pick up sound codes and vibrations which in turn influences their behaviors? that the phase 'the walls have ears' is quite literal as the very walls of one's dwellings can pick up sound codes and vibrations and in turn release these back to the inhabitants; this is why people are encouraged to speak positive words into their environment, and to surround themselves with people who release positive energy in order to shield themselves from the toxic buildup of negativity. Well if indeed, you really can hear dear diary, then I'm sure by now you must be sick and tired of hearing the song 'Would You be Happier' by The Corrs as I've had it playing on repeat for the past hour, even as I insist on singing tunelessly over it. Well you wouldn't entirely blame me for the racket given that in the past day, i've been greatly exposed to a broad spectrum of individual perspective of happiness; and after proper assessment, I've made a rather shocking discovery.
It began with the 'code red' put out by Temi yesterday morning. She had received a rather belated mail informing her of the arrival of Mrs. Udi to our liaison office; apparently, Mrs. Udi was to spend the entire week working out of our office. This implied moderately heavy logistics- including accommodation, feeding, entertainment, and mobility- all at the expense of our department; and Temi had only been informed on the morning of her arrival. Naturally, Temi was pissed;
not only was Mrs Udi an expatriate and a very senior staff (even more senior to Mr. Olivier), she was also a Queen (and when I say Queen, I actually mean a fastidious pain in the ass; but since I'm heavily downsizing on my curse words, Queen would have to do). I watched Temi storm around the office in a fit of rage and I knew that her anger wasn't entirely due to the limited preparation time she had been given. You see dear diary, Temi always boasted of being tightly keyed into both the official and unofficial flow of information in the organisation; 'being in the know' was her 'thing', just like being pretty. Yes, these were the two 'suns' Temi's world revolved around- information and beauty. they were haer source of happiness. Undermining anyone of them for her was like throwing a huge fire blanket over the sun; her world would be filled with a blinding darkness. I could only shake my head ans sympathize with her as she barked orders to drivers, use swear words on travel agents and hotel managers, and attempt to wring the neck of anyone who got in her way. She was furious, and not prepared to give anyone a bit of wriggle room. I knew someone would have to pay for this in some way before the day was ended; Temi could be vengeful on rare occasions.
I was at my desk concentrating on simulating personality test questions (a task Mr. Olivier had assigned to me more as a punishment than anything else; but that's gist for another day) when I suddenly began to feel slightly woozy; then i picked it up: the Cologne! Boy, that strong perfume that could put one to sleep; perfume so strong, it becomes an entity of its own! It walks into the building before the wearer, and stays behind a long while after the wearer had exited. Mrs. Udi was officially in the vicinity! My colleagues must have picked up the telltale sign of Mrs. Udi's presence too because my Lync app soon pinged with a new message. I opened it; it was a short message from Sam that read:
She's here! Quick everyone, run for your lives! Next to which was a photo of one of the characters from the minions in full flight. I laughed out loud as I hit the delete button; good old Sam, this was his 'thing'- being the funny one. He somehow derived immense joy from seeing people laugh. When there's peace and laughter, Sam was happiest; left to Sam, the whole universe would be one crazy comedy. I switched windows back to my simulation page and realized I was fed up! I wasn't in HR, have never been in HR, so it was just unfair that i was being made to do this simulation! To make matters worse, Jamal (the really cute Arabian in HR who happens to really like me, and who had promised to help with the simulation) had had to travel to Kuwait the previous night. 'Family business' was all the explanation he had offered- in a tight, pensive voice- when he had called to apologize at mid night. Now I was stuck on a deadline with little means to completing the task. If I hadn't been so sleepy last night, I may have been able to coax Jamal's password out of him, then i would have had access to HR's pool of questions. I was furious with myself! I had missed an opportunity because I couldn't shake some stupid sleep off, and now I had to pay! I must confess dear Diary, this is kind off my weakness; it really gets under my skin (to where it hurts) when I mess things up just because I was less than in control (especially of myself); I am happiest when i feel on top of my game (be it reality or just an illusion, lol). I was furious enough to consider hacking Jamal's profile from the back end just to gain access and feel less terrible about myself; this is why i screamed (I mean a full-fledged horror movie scream) when a hand suddenly dropped on my shoulder from behind me. I swiveled my chair around while I slapped both my palms over my mouth to keep my heart from leaping out (as it was already in my mouth apparently), only to find Uche staring at me with a bewildered look on his face. "Christ Ari! why do you scare so easily?" he asked "or were you doing something wrong? I've told you time and again to stop watching pornography in the office but you won't listen" he added, squinting his eyes and trying to lighten the mood. I laughed aloud (after swallowing my heart back to place of course), that was my line; Uche had stolen my line and even used it on me.
"Get out of here Uche" I said, feigning anger "some of us actually work hard to make profits for this company"
"Oh, I come bearing news; one you'd like" Uche replied with an air of mischief; Uche is happiest when he's up to some mischief. I raised an eyebrow in inquiry and he continued "She wants to see you" I groaned loudly and buried my head in my arms on my desk.
"There! I knew you'd like it!" Uche added mischievously and sauntered away. I needed no further explanation as to the 'She' who wanted to see me. Yous see dear diary, Mrs. Udi and I have a bit of a history together. First off, she's my Aunt (a close one to; married to my Dad's brother- Uncle Doug); secondly, she's my self appointed mentor and guardian (rolling my eyes at that one). Being a mother of seven full grown men, I am like the daughter she never had (at least to her). When I got employed by this company, the first condition I negotiated with HR was one to make sure I never had reason to work in the London office (which is Mrs. Udi's base), no matter how briefly. But since I wouldn't go to London, Mrs. Udi had found every opportunity to come to our liaison office; and each time she was here, she paid a little too much attention on me; this didn't please my colleagues very much. Mrs Udi's idea of happiness was teaching me something new; whether it's the fastest way to decode programmes, a perfect way to fold bath towels, a simple trick to tell if a guy is interested in you, or the best angles for a selfie. Don't get me wrong dear Diary, Mrs. Udi is my favorite aunt (she's my craziest aunt to; so that automatically qualifies her) but when it comes to work, and she's all over me like one big fuzzy bundle of love, and all my colleagues begin to get a shade greener with each passing minute, I just feel like I'm no longer in control; and that terrifies me.
Seeing no immediate means of escape for the present, I dragged myself up, and headed for Mrs. Udi's office. Dara had just exited Mrs.Udi's office as I approached and I watched her face harden when she saw me. You see dear Diary, Dara had fancied herself Mrs. Udi's pet before I joined the company (Dara had joined the company as Mrs. Udi's personal assistant before she got promoted to her current position); and though Mrs. Udi has never referred to Dara by any other endearment apart from 'that smart girl', Dara somehow believed we were in competition for Mrs. Udi's affections; this only made me want to put more distance between myself and Mrs. Udi at work. Dara's wrath was something i couldn't handle; I believe she's happiest when she has an enemy to vanquish (and that's the right word- vanquish; Dara could utterly destroy you without batting an eye lid if it pleases her). I smiled an apology to her as skipped into Mrs. Udi's office and shut the door behind me.
"You've been avoiding me, pumpkin" Mrs. Udi said in a clipped British accent without looking up from the documents she had been reviewing.
"That's not even possible Aunt D" I replied, mimicking her clipped accent and addressing her as only family does, because she was right; I'd been avoiding her, but I didn't want her to feel bad about it. She peered at me from the top of her spectacles, then smiled.
"Good!" she said "I won't ask for a hug now because this is clearly a working environment; but go grab your purse, we're going out for an early lunch at my club. Hurry along now". Yes, dear Diary, this was my Aunt D, always in command; next to her, I possess absolutely no control over anything- even my time! I turned and headed for the door to do as I'm told when her voice stopped me
"And oh Ari, your ass looks fat in that skirt; whatever happened to your Kappa Kappa dress sense?" I laughed out loud as I left her office. 'Kappa Kappa' was a private joke between Aunt D and myself. it was the name of the frat I never joined in school even though my parents still think I did join. It was the frat for the impeccable, my mum was an old member from her school days (a 'Legacy' as they called it in the frat), and they had a 'no boyfriend' rule. All three conditions didn't work for me, so I got an internship with a big fashion designer (my parents would have had a combined heart attack had they know; after they forbid me from taking it of course) and spent many blissful 'Kappa Kappa' meetings, auctions, and charity events at my internship.
My lunch with Aunt D didn't go as I had thought it would. I had expected to spend the hour getting a love overdose from her and of course, being taught something new; but within the first ten minutes, she broke the news to me: she was leaving the company because she was ill; she was moving to Alaska with Uncle Doug as the cold weather would aid both treatment and recovery (all of this she said with such dismissive indifference as though she was discussing the stock market). I wept into my steak (which I had ordered just to horrify Aunt D as pay back for her earlier comment about my butt) for the rest of lunch. Aunt D was a major pain in the ass and I always thought I needed space from her; but this wasn't how I wanted it; this was too terrifying! I was numb when I finally returned to the office; I just wanted to go home (not to my apartment in town; but to my family, my parents).
"Ari, get in here" that was Mr. Olivier's voice and I could clearly hear the anger in it. I remember I hadn't completed the simulation; but most importantly, I knew Mr. Olivier didn't like Mrs. Udi. I've heard him ascribe the tag 'forceful character' to her on more than one occasion (but I secretly know it's just the chauvinist in him talking; his all too fragile male ego has a difficult time comprehending how a 'lowly' female could attain such a high position at Mrs. Udi's age). I dragged my numb self to his office knowing that I was going to receive some serious tongue lashing; but boy, I wasn't prepared for the cold fury Mr. Olivier handed to me. You see dear diary, loyalty was Mr. Olivier's 'thing'; any act of disloyalty (real or imagined) unleashed the cave man in him. He yelled about hoe I has abandoned my job and disappeared without anyone knowing of my whereabouts if not for Dara who had seen me leaving (without anyone knowing? I had told Sam and Temi I was going out for an early lunch! What was Dara up to now?), how urgently he had needed that simulation (the simulation was just a punishment; we both knew it!), and how Dara had come up with a set of simulated questions just in the nick of time to save the day (Dara again! How did she even get the questions on such short notice? I guess Alan in HR is going to be a luck man soon).
"This is an appraisal issue Ari and I'm not letting you off the hook" Mr. Olivier's voice boomed. "If you want to abandon your duties half way to frolic around town with your aunt, then go worth with her in London but for as long as you remain in my unit, your are not permitted to do that! You can leave my office now". I stumbled out, stunned. I could barely believe what was happening! First, my Aunt D goes off and becomes ill without asking anyone's permission; now Mr. Olivier wants me to manage his ego when my aunt could be dying!
For the rest of the day, I found myself wondering why humans in general have decided to attach terms and conditions to personal happiness. Why have we decided to make happiness so elusive; just one step ahead of us? In the next job, in that new house, on the next vacation, in the victory over an enemy, in the next degree or certification we attain, and so on. Could we have been happy if it wasn't for that nosy neighbor, or that annoying colleague, or the traffic, or the weather? These are all excuses we give to ourselves to cover for the fact that we are just too lazy to take charge of our personal happiness. We all have our personal monsters; monsters we fight daily as they, in turn, fight back and try to consume us; but while we fight to subdue them or to keep the subdues, we must ensure we do not let the paranoia make us be come the very thing we fear: a monster...
(Disclaimer: Aria's Note is largely fiction; as such, names, characters, businesses, organisations, associations, places, events, ans incidents are product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, events, locales, associations, or organisations is largely coincidental.)
No comments:
Post a Comment